| ID: 17 | Rating: 17 | ||
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Mus: Oh look, it's the dream team.
Brent: Get your mom over here and it'll be the cream team. |
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| ID: 24 | Rating: 12 | ||
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Jym: milk is getting expensive
Brent: knock up mel and you can get some for free |
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| ID: 62 | Rating: 10 | ||
|
* Paul is on the phone with IT support discussing his overheating laptop *
Morgan: "Tell me how it feels. Is it. . . hot?" Morgan: "STroke it, Mr. Paul. Stroke it slowly." Rick: "To confirm this, just take a single finger...." Morgan: "If you are working from home, we will make a special house call." Rick: "Go ahead and turn your webcam on...." Morgan: "We will. . . solve this urgent need together." Rick: "Just the tip?" Morgan: "Talk more slowly, Mr. Paul. Talk sexy." |
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| ID: 65 | Rating: 8 | ||
| Morgan: I'm erasing the giant amazonian wang. | |||
| ID: 19 | Rating: 6 | ||
| Brent: It shouldn't be "brentandyourmom.com" it should be "brentINyourmom.com" | |||
| ID: 67 | Rating: 5 | ||
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Morgan Collins, Monitored Security [9:18 PM]:
Morgan Collins, Monitored Security [9:01 PM]: Do you know what the maintenance TIme is doing this weekend is? Steven Jackson, Monitored Security [9:02 PM]: hmm Steven Jackson, Monitored Security [9:17 PM]: sry for delay, got grabbed by Paul Morgan Collins, Monitored Security [9:18 PM]: Phrasing, Steve Morgan Collins, Monitored Security [9:18 PM]: Phrasing Paulson McIntyre, Monitored Security [9:18 PM]: Mr. Jackson got molested by Mr. Kopp? John Clement, Monitored Security [9:19 PM]: lol John Clement, Monitored Security [9:19 PM]: thats what is sounds like Paulson McIntyre, Monitored Security [9:19 PM]: Mr. Kopp must have kopped a feel |
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| ID: 27 | Rating: 4 | ||
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Paul: So the www.lulzlunch.com server had issues overnight
Morgan: Were there to many cocks for the server to handle? |
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| ID: 20 | Rating: 3 | ||
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Seth: FW: Fwd: FW: Five (5) lessons...long but worth the read!!
Seth: from my grandma Seth: fuckin grandmas Brent: moms are ok seth, but "fuckin grandmas" is gross |
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| ID: 26 | Rating: 3 | ||
| Brent: is it bad that i don't even know what a debian box is? | |||
| ID: 28 | Rating: 3 | ||
| Corey: i'm the biggest failure | |||
| ID: 29 | Rating: 3 | ||
| ID: 58 | Rating: 3 | ||
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Daniel Bifaro, Monitored Security [6:42 PM]:
I wonder if they will come out with one for an orange too Morgan Collins, Monitored Security [6:42 PM]: Del Monte introduces The Orange Bowl Morgan Collins, Monitored Security [6:42 PM]: A Bowl to place your orange in while carrying it Paulson McIntyre, Monitored Security [6:42 PM]: i'd perfer a sac |
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| ID: 83 | Rating: 3 | ||
| Richard: We found an unusual user agent a bit ago: User-Agent: Mozilla/4.75 (KKKDEMOCRATSKKK/PEPSINAMBLA) (BILLAYERS/PENTAGONBOMBINGCOPKILLINGDEMOCRATMENTOROFOBAMA) (ERICHOLDER:TRYINGTOBRINGDEATHONAMERICA) | |||
| ID: 18 | Rating: 2 | ||
|
Jym: Paul, did you use DOS or Windows 3.11? Like the rem command?
Paul: No, I was really little then. Brent: You're mom says you still are. |
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| ID: 16 | Rating: 2 | ||
| "That's what she said" | |||
| ID: 22 | Rating: 2 | ||
|
Paul: 218340105584896 possible passwords.
Brent: the number of dicks that have been in your mom's mouth? |
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| ID: 25 | Rating: 2 | ||
| Andrew: http://www.thingsididlastnight.com | |||
| ID: 32 | Rating: 2 | ||
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Paul: your mom arrives more frequently than the UPS guy
Morgan: But not as much as the Ninja Jimmy John's guy |
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| ID: 40 | Rating: 2 | ||
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Dan: Lance, want to monitor the turd coming out of my butt?
Morgan: Careful Morgan: you're close to the start of a German porn movie Morgan: Dan in 'Loggerhead' |
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| ID: 52 | Rating: 2 | ||
| Morgan: I guess it means I just have more time to tinker with your mom tonight | |||
| ID: 100 | Rating: 2 | ||
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Paul: how the fuck do they do 100gbps over copper
Paul: even if it's only 7m Paul: jesus Paul: that's fucking nuts Rick: A cable within a cable....BAUDCEPTION! Paul: oh god Rick: BWAAAAAAAAAAM Rick: We need to go deeper... Paul: your virginity level just went up Paul: congrats Rick: I'd better cast "BONE MY FIANCE". Paul: lol Paul: hai guys, i put a vlan in my vlan in my vlan so you can trunk while you trunk while you trunk Rick: Do I get extra points for yelling "We need to go deeper! BWAAAAAAAAM" as I finish? Paul: yes |
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| ID: 30 | Rating: 1 | ||
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Paulson: looks like that customer's last best hope for piece is me writing a script and praying that me directly quering the ARK tier doesn't piss of infra
Morgan: I already took the last best piece of your mom |
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| ID: 34 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Morgan: May have to have a come to Jesus with Mase about that
Paul: your mom came for jesus Morgan: Who Would Jesus Do FTW |
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| ID: 35 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Morgan: I'm doing the apple stream just to help try to crash their servers
Paul: does that stream come straight from steve job's dick? Morgan: I think Scott Roberts is too attached to it for that to work well |
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| ID: 37 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Morgan: I want the bigger geebees
Paul: your mom can take some pretty big geebees |
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| ID: 38 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Paul: it's funny how "suck" and "blow" are both synonmoms and antionyms
Morgan: It's kind of like double-penning your mom |
|||
| ID: 44 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Josh: you should see my diagram sometime of their team mailflow
Josh: one email goes to more places than Morgan's mother after a night of binge drinking |
|||
| ID: 51 | Rating: 1 | ||
| I hijacked the first 5 minutes of our Threat/Analysis/Log-Collection meeting to discuss Power Rangers today. Felt pretty good. | |||
| ID: 53 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Paul: if i ever get a picture of morgan's mom, i'm going to shop in a picture of i can haz cheesburger cat going "why does that lady have a penis?"
Rick: oh man Morgan: Your mom had mine, so if any questions about that come up it's easy to answer |
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| ID: 60 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Paul: Management is like Brent's Mom:
Paul: They just can't say no to $$ Paul: Even if they get fucked shortly after |
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| ID: 63 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
John: whats for lunch
Paul: brent's mom Morgan: I don't want grease |
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| ID: 66 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Morgan: Dvorak is only for if you're afraid a woman might touch you someday
|
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| ID: 75 | Rating: 1 | ||
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Dan: Steve is nails on a chalkboard
Clayton: You mom has been nailed on a chalk board |
|||
| ID: 78 | Rating: 1 | ||
|
Paul: http://news.slashdot.org/story/11/07/29/1445252/Emacs-Has-Been-Violating-the-GPL-Since-2009
Paul: RMS must be pulling his hair out Paul: that his baby is voliating his other baby Dan: the family that plays together, stays together? |
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| ID: 23 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: our [server] rack is now semi-clean and ready to use
Jym: your mom's rack is not clean |
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| ID: 31 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Josh: why must this be so hard
Josh: that's what she said |
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| ID: 33 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Eric: A parasite walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve your kind in here." The parasite says "well you're not a very good host."
Paul: it's not worst-joke-wedensday Eric: oh. Eric: A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. He asks the bartender how much. "For you, no charge" Paul: *cues symbols* Eric: two atoms are sitting at a bar. Eric: Atom #1 " i think i've lost an electron" Eric: Atom #2 "Are you sure" Eric: Atom #1 "I'm positive!" Paul: you're going downhill fast Eric: A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. So the bartender gave it to her. Paul: are you reading these off of a site that has "the worst jokes on the internet"? Eric: gaga Eric: some reddit thing |
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| ID: 36 | Rating: 0 | ||
| Morgan: [Steve Jobs is] too busy verbally masturbating to announce new products | |||
| ID: 39 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: i can see it now...steve jobs, the crule master, whipping his minions while yelling "smaller i say! Smaller!!"
Morgan: lawl Morgan: I whipped your mom Paul: and she was happy since you were already "smaller" |
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| ID: 41 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: www.brentandyourmom.com ;)
Mike: NICE! Paul: btw, the chick in the picture is Justin's mom Mike: SCORE! Mike: Oh, and BTW - I'd fuck her until my dick wore down to a little nub like yours, given the chance. |
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| ID: 42 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Eric: http://i.imgur.com/jZLev.jpg
Paul: lol Paul: http://www.lulzlunch.com/images/b/1234415434278.jpg Eric: gr0ss Paul: just like your mom |
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| ID: 43 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Josh: I'm coming to you
Paul: Your mom comes to me every night |
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| ID: 45 | Rating: 0 | ||
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Paul: Q: What does Brent's mom have in common with the Keurig?
Paul: A: Both get filled several times a day. |
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| ID: 46 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Morgan: this webmail is atrocious
Morgan: stability wise Paul: heh Paul: <insert joke here abotu Brent's mom's vag> Morgan: <insert joke about being strafed by STDs> Paul: <insert joke here about inserting a joke like you insert it into Brent's mom> Morgan: <insert joke about the joke being how long you last when with Brent's mom> |
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| ID: 47 | Rating: 0 | ||
| Josh: sweet, I'll go bust on jack | |||
| ID: 48 | Rating: 0 | ||
| Rick: I rooted your mom's output field. | |||
| ID: 49 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Morgan: Not ATM, though I think I drank some bad cream
Paul: your mom drank some of my good cream last night |
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| ID: 50 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Eric: morgan knows Eric: he will know. Morgan: I know nothing Paul: i thought you knew brent's mom pretty well.... Brent: everyone know's paul's mom inside and out |
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| ID: 54 | Rating: 0 | ||
| Paul: Well, it would be nice if the Corporate switch didn't go down more often than Josh's Mom... | |||
| ID: 55 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: cp only goes to one destination
Rick: my harddrive? |
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| ID: 56 | Rating: 0 | ||
| Dan: my python went deep into your mom last night | |||
| ID: 57 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Morgan: The dumbest thing I ever did was take on those guys.
Paul: Your mom never says that. |
|||
| ID: 59 | Rating: 0 | ||
| Jym: love the semen site | |||
| ID: 61 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: wonder why "joshespenis" auto corrects to ""?
Josh: because it's hidden inside your mom |
|||
| ID: 64 | Rating: 0 | ||
| Morgan: Rick if you turn around I'll show you something | |||
| ID: 68 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: its almost like that time that lulzlunch was hosting only /cm/
Morgan: does that stand for cockmonger? Paul: cute/male Paul: aka gay porn Morgan: It doesn't only host that? Morgan: That's all I run into with infinite scroll |
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| ID: 69 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Morgan: let me rephrase
Paul: allow me to rephrase as well Paul: your mom is a whore |
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| ID: 70 | Rating: 0 | ||
| Paul: I filled up your mom's inbox last night | |||
| ID: 71 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Morgan: I'm fuckign blind, I can't find this thing
Paul: if it's that small, no wonder you don't have a lady friend Morgan: it's true that I wouldn't call your mom a lady, but she's a friend |
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| ID: 72 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: by Brent's mom?
Morgan: She liked it when I 'changed her tire' Paul: well, she does have several spare tires |
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| ID: 73 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
nerd overflow:
http://www.lulzlunch.com/func/b/1296849055998.jpg/view/ |
|||
| ID: 74 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: http://www.lulzlunch.com/func/b/1296921349510.png/view/
Clayton: ha Clayton: thats Morgan |
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| ID: 76 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Brent: how about cob next friday?
Paul: sure Eric: corn cob Brent: corn cobbed both your moms last night |
|||
| ID: 77 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Rick: dammit
Rick: I just typed "man date" |
|||
| ID: 79 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: you know what Clayton has in common with a boomerang?
Clayton: no Paul: both get off in under a second Clayton: wait why did i ask that Clayton: golly geez |
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| ID: 80 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: http://i.imgur.com/rwlOx.png
Dan: oh geez Dan: who let your mom on facebook |
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| ID: 81 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: for those of you who aren't familier with my various servers, stor15 is a 16-way box with 64Gb of RAM
Erica: nice Erica: rick had your mom 16 ways. |
|||
| ID: 82 | Rating: 0 | ||
|
Paul: I love this one: http://www.lulzlunch.com/media/images/2011/02/16/1297874943596.jpg
Erica: Rick in the morning after a red bull |
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| ID: 21 | Rating: -11 | ||
|
Dan: WELCOME TO FIREHOUSE!
Stephen: your mom welcomed me to her firehouse |
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